4 Kings and a Queen

Love this!

2009-05-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

I just got this in an email from a girlfriend...

A Holy man was having a conversation with the
Lord one day and said, 'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are
like.'

The Lord led the holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the holy man
looked in..

In the middle of the room was a large round
table..

In the middle of the table was a large pot of
stew,

Which smelled delicious and made the holy
man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin
and sickly.

They appeared to be famished. They were holding
spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it
possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their
arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their
misery and suffering.

The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell. They
went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first
one.

There was the large round table with the large
pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same
long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing
and talking.

The holy man said, 'I don't understand.

'It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It
requires but one skill.

You see, they have learned to feed each other.

The greedy think only of themselves.'

When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of
you.

Its estimated 93% won't forward this.

If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this
with the title '7%' .

I'm in the 7%

Remember that

I will always share my spoon with you

My 2 new businesses!

2009-05-20T08:56:00.001-07:00

I have recently signed up with Discovery Toys and Scentsy wickless candles. I am SOOO excited to work with these companies! I hope my readers will check out my stores, and pass them along to their friends and family!

The Discovery Toys store has games, toys, and eductational products for infants to teens. You will find toys for little babies, to challenging math and science items for teens. There are also books, puzzles, CD's and board games. Lots of choices for children to play and learn at the same time!

The Scentsy store has awesome warmers, so many different styles to choose from! There is a style to fit everyone's personal taste! They are plug in, and they heat your choice of a delicious wax, to a liquid that fills your entire house! There are too many yummy choices of fragrances to count. Again, plenty to suite your taste. We also have smaller warmers that plug into the wall, similar to a Glad plug in, but they work the same as our larger warmers. These things are amazing! You will also find room sprays and hanging air fresheners! Yummy stuff! The liquid wax never gets hot enough to burn children and they are heated by a light bulb that will never burn a little hand, if it decides to investigate your warmer!

WWW.DiscoveryToysLink.com/Sarah "My Toy Store"

WWW.Scentsy.com/SarahsScents "My Wickless Candle store"

Please bookmark them both! Thanks Guys!

I absolutley LOVE this poem!

2009-05-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

"Time Tested Beauty Tips"

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Mini photo shoot

2009-05-06T14:04:00.000-07:00

Logan, Adrian and I were out together, so we snapped a few pics together....

Flowers

2009-05-05T08:05:00.000-07:00

What is it about flowers that make you happy? I have an absolutely gorgeous vase of mixed roses in my living room right now. SO beautiful! My friend, who I do daycare for, occasionally brings me a rose or a few roses from her garden. I love when she does this, what a sweet gesture! Then my other girlfriend brought me a few roses from her house as a surprise.. how neat is that. Then last night, when I was at my Momma's house, she showed me the bouquet of roses she put together from her garden and grabbed a beautiful green glass vase and said "C'mon, let's go pick some roses for your house." So now, I have this wonderful gift of amazing red, pink, orange and yellow roses to enjoy! THANKS GUYS! Picture later...

Odds and Ends

2009-05-02T09:30:00.000-07:00

Good Morning. It's a rainy Saturday here, which is just crazy.. we are in May- in California! So any outside plans are obviously rained out, and postponed until next weekend. Here, I have my beloved coffee, my baby girl who has a dry bottom and full tummy, and a very relaxed home at the moment. Perfect to sit and chat about odds and ends. So, as you can see, I removed the latest post, I figured I want to keep this site about positive family issues, and obviously not always so positive, but who needs their child reading about their mood swings, for lack of better words, know what I mean. They have to deal with me every day, they don't need to read about it too, lol. I'll just say in code to who read it. I am happy and optomistic and the word starts with "C". ;)

Okay, so there is this website that is SO FUN! You and your kids will love it. It's called Face in Hole. It's so neat. There are a million different picture options for you to put a face on, and it transforms you into your favorite actress, or your kids into Bob the Builder, etc. They'll get a kick out of it.

Swine Flu, I know you have probably heard enough about this, but I am honestly worried about it. Moreso than the normal seasonal flu for some reason. I read a STARTLING statistic on the normal seasonal flu though. 36,000 Americans died JUST last year alone from it, and around 90 children. I cannot believe that. I have never heard that it took SO many lives every year. I did know it took some. I thought those fatalities were people with immune issues, such as newborns or the elderly. Just something else for me to panic over. But this swine flu. There's something very unsettling about it. Is it the global panic, the neverending news updates, whatever it is, I am very afraid of it. I am afraid for my family. If Kira got it, it would be all bad. Aaron too. It seems that when Aaron is sick, just with a cold, he gets knocked down easily. He gets lethargic and feverish quite easily.

I went through something I did not think I would other than with Kira this year. Aaron had a cold that would not go away. Then one afternoon, he woke up with a fever of almost 104. I took him to the ER because of the fever, and he was acting very sleepy, even though he had taken his nap. The doc said his cold most likely turned into a sinus infection and sent us home with a script for Amoxicillan. When I turned on my street, I heard Aaron breathing heavily, I thought he fell asleep and was snoring, but when I parked and opened his door, his eyes were big, and his coloring was off. Nail beds, lips and around his eyes were purplish. I ran him in and he was out of it and acting very strange, and doing rythmic mouth and tongue movements. Jim was holding him while I was calling 911 and Aaron could not stay awake. He kept dropping his head to Jims chest. I was scared to death obviously. So, turns out. His cold turned into pneumonia ( EVEN though his lungs sounded clear with a stethescope) and the bacterial pneumonia caused the fever to spike, which caused a "febrile seizure". I just cannot believe I had to witness another one of my babies have a seizure. Insanity, I tell you. It took about a month for me to not be angry at how "unfair" that was. But I got over it. Febrile seizures are actually common I have learned. 1 in 25 children will have one in their childhood, and out of those, 1 in 3 will have recurring ones. So the Doc told me not to panic if it happens again, just know that there is no lasting damage or harm to them. The child will recover and no medication is nessecarry, other than Ibuprophen or Acetametiphen to control the fever. So anyhoo.. as I was saying. I am afraid of it in general, but really afraid for Kira and Aaron. I have taught them all of the safety practices, and they are adhearing to them. They each have their own bottle of hand sanitizer in their backpacks. I even kept Logan, my kindergartner, at school, while his ENTIRE class went to the field trip to a fish hatchery. The hatchery is in Fair Oaks, which is where the outbreak is. Fair Oaks is where the Junior high boy came back from Mexico and children around him got infected, and they are now passing it. It just did not sit right with me to send him to that area, to a public place. I may be over paranoid. I've been told many times that I am, but it's just how I am. I felt bad though, he was the only one who did not go. Instead, he stayed behind in a first grade class with a friend of his. He had a great day though. He had cupcakes, recess and an overall fun day. So, silverlining huh? I told him, none of his classmates got a cupcake like he did! lol He said this was true and giggled.. WHEW!

More on Becky...

2009-04-28T08:14:00.000-07:00

I wanted to elaborate a bit about Miss Becky Boo ( AKA Sweetie G. ) I want to add some pictures to show you guys Kira's twin. Right this moment, as I was stealing some pics off of Monikas blog, Aaron, the BABY, came over, sat on my lap, and pointed to the computer and says "Kir-Kir.. dat Kir-Kir" and I didn't even say a word to him. Isn't that insane. He's 2, and he even thinks Becky is Kira! haha after he was looking at "Kira" in the pictures, I say, "Was that your Kir-Kir" he goes "Yeaah" :)

So I know my friends and family know that Kira is total care, I want to touch on what I DO know about Rebecca. Rebecca is very much like Kira when it comes to her capabilities. I don't know why I didn't say that yesterday. She does not have purposeful movements, ( meaning, she is not able to move her body or limbs where she wants them). She has no vision, she does not cry, she is 100% g-tube fed, she also occasionally has seizures as well. Oh yeah, they both have a baby sibling that attacks them, and they can't do a darn thing about it! lol Honestly though. Becky's days are just like Kiras. Becky and Kira both have to be held carefully, or situated carefully somewhere. They both have microchepaly, meaning, the head circumference is smaller than it should be, because their brains are not growing as they should. Though the girls are twins when it comes to looks & even LIFE basically.. the difference is, Kira's problem is her brain waves. She has ZERO organization to her brain activity. All of her wires are chaotically crossed and going haywire in her brain. Becky, on the other hand has an issue with ( oh I hope I say this right) her brain structure. The brain itself had an insult to it, where as Kiras insult is inside the brain, the part you cannot see. Both Monika and I have been told the same thing though.. that this was a fluke thing that happened sometime in utero when the brain was being developed. For some reason something went wrong.. but who knows WHY or how. Anyway, it just REALLY trips me out to know that there is a Momma out there taking care of my Kira all day long, like I am, and to see pics of her youngest daughters birthday party, and there is Kira, laying on the carpet on blankets!! HOW did she get all the way to CANADA?!

Kira's friend Rebecca

2009-04-27T14:57:00.000-07:00

Kira has a little friend named Rebecca who lives in Canada. Kira has not met Becky in person, but she knows all about her, and wishes she could meet her! I have been chatting with Becky's Momma, Monika, since the girls were pretty young, maybe before thier 1st birthday, can't remember. (help me out here, Mon?)Kira and Rebecca share a very striking physical resemblance. You will need to do a second take when looking at Becky's pictures, thinking it's Miss Jean! Both girls have the same beautiful auburn hair, the same pouty lips, the same bubble cheeks, and their body type and language is spitting image. Rebecca does not share the same exact issues as Kira, but she does share some. I do not want to attempt to detail Miss Becky's struggles, as I am afraid I may get some wrong, or misexplain. You can read all about her on the blog I have listed to your right. These 2 girls share a very special bond, as I feel that I share the same with Becky's Momma. I now have Skype, so the girls get to meet in "person" how NEAT is that! Logan, my 6 year old and I were looking at Monika's blog this weekend, and He thought all of the pictures were Kira. He didn't believe me that it wasn't his sister, he just didn't know who the other people in the pictures were! LOL

Crowds!

2009-04-26T08:37:00.000-07:00

I never take the boys out of the house. I feel terrible that I never take them out for fun activities. So yesterday morning, I decided that "Today, my boys and I are going to have a great and fun day together!" My original plan was to go bowling. While driving though, we all agreed to go to the Zoo and Fairy Tale Town. Since being a Momma, I have only taken my ( at the time, 2 young boys) there once. They have gone to a different zoo once as well, for a field trip. This is NOT good. These fun places are only 15-20 mins away, and I just have never taken the time to do this for them. Crappy. Ethan doesn't remember me taking him to Fairy tale town, how could he, he was an infant in a stroller. So technically, Adrian was the only one I have ever taken, and he doesn't even remember going either. UGH. So, YAY! This is what my boys and I are going to do! Okay, we get there, well, we get to the entrance of William land Park, where the zoo and FTT are inside. This park is huge, and its like a maze to drive around in. There HAD to be at least 2.5 million people there at that moment. Is that even possible? It had to be, we all saw it with our own eyes. We drove around, begging to see just ONE parking spot! There were cars illigally parked. There were cars blocking the area where you need to drive through. There were cars honking at each other. So while driving around and around already so frustrated, as if the car situation wasn't bad enough, we had to make sure we weren't going to hit all of the people who blatently walked right in front of your moving vehicle to cross the street. The line to get into the zoo was wrapped around the building, and the crowds crossing the street to get into Fairy Tale Town was no better. I couldn't handle another second of it, and neither could the boys. Both older boys kept saying "Bowling is sounding alot better right now!" lol So after we decide to leave this mass chaos, we get lost in the maze of the large park, and the paths are so narrow, that I had to pull over to let an oncoming person pass. I am trying VERY hard to be a better Christian, I really am. But the side of me that doesn't like people was emerging bigtime yesterday! That's a personality trait I am working on, and seriously want and need to change. I just don't like people and crowds at ALL! It seems like everyone in public are rude, and inconsiderate. It's like dog-eat-dog out there. I am always the person to scoot over if streets are a tight squeeze, or if in the grocery store, if the isle is crowded, I scoot to the side. Does anyone ever say "Thanks" HECK NO! I always say "Excuse me" if I walk in front of someone in the store, but does anyone utter those 2, kind words if they walk in front of me? HOW, tell me, HOW can I be a good Christian and love all of these rude strangers? Okay, I realized, I completely got of course from the original story here. So, we ended up going out to lunch at IHOP, then headed over to Walmart and they all picked out a new video game to play, then had McDonlads for dinner. They enjoyed it all. They considered it a success for a "fun day", and that's what matters, isn't it! Next weekend, we are going to go BACK to this extrememly popular fun place, BEFORE it opens, to ensure we have a spot, and my boys and I are going to have a BLAST!

Ketogenic Diet

2009-04-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

Kira went to the Doctor's to get some fasting labs and urine today, to get the ball rolling to get back on the Ketogenic Diet for her seizures. She was on this diet before, almost 2 years ago. It didn't completely take away her epilepsy, but it was the best sucess so far out of all of the medication we have tried. The problem was, even though I was in contact w/ the nutritionist, she kept going out of ketosis. Any extra grams of carbs effect her metabolic system when shes on this diet, and can throw her right out of ketosis. Here's a very interesting tid-bit. Sunblock, cortizone ointment, shampoos, toiletries of all kinds, have CARBS in them! (Sugar) When the skin absorbs these items, you are virtually ingesting carbs. Crazy, huh! So there is no explaination int he scientific world HOW or WHY this diet works against epilepsy, they only know that it does. Of course, since she is 100% g-tube fed, Kira's version of this diet will be a powdered formula called "Ketocal", mixed with a precise amount of water, and apple juice. This is her meal. The ration depends on her height and weight, and it has to be very exact in order to be sucessful. Children who do eat by mouth, get to eat butter and cream popsicles, hotdogs mixed in mayo.. etc. The point is to be high fat, and very low carb. So Kira and I get to be Ketosis Sisters! Only, on MY diet, it makes me lose weight, on hers, she will not lose weight( even though Homegirl can stand to lose a few rolls and chins), nor gain, even though it is high fat. Before starting the diet last time, they make you read this particular book and become educated with what it does to her body and how important it is to follow all of the rules, etc. It also detailed SOOOO many very inspiring true stories of children who were severely disabled, only to turn around and function as almost Neuro typical kids. My hopes after reading this book could not have been any higher. There was this little girl in particular who at the time I was reading it, was just a bit younger than Kira. It said she did not cry and she barely moved. She had no connection to the outside world. After only two days on this diet, she was sitting up and playing with toys. Oh my Gracious! I just KNEW this is what was going to wake Kira up! This is it! After we leave Fremont, I will be driving an awake baby girl, who can see me, home! This was maybe one of the dumbest things I have done throughout this entire roller coaster of a journey. I created this completely delussional image of a miraculous and fully restored healing in Kira. So then when it did not happen, I sank even deeper in my depression and fear and hopelessness. What I should have done, and what I will do now regarding this treatment again, is go into it knowing this diet can help her epilepsy, and in turn, if we can get her seizures to slow down just a bit, maybe more positive stimulation can take place in her brain, thus perhaps encouraging some room for developement. There are other treatments out there that I have always wanted to try on Kira. They are Hyperbaric Oxygen therapy..aka HBOT. The other one is stemcell therapy. I spoke to the Doctor who preforms the therapies and stemcell transplants at Duke. She said that before Kira could do the stemcell, she would first have to undergo chemo. She told me that the chemo alone could kill her because of her fragile state. She said the odds of that are about 20%. thats before the we even start with the stemcells! She said then after all is said and done, there is of course a chance that her body can reject it. UGH! I didn't know what to do. In one hand I have Kira undergoing this procedure and waking up and it creating fresh new braincells that do what they are supposed to. In the other hand I have Kira dying, because I tried this procedure on her, in hopes to wake her up, when I could have kept her comfortable at home the way she is. After being absolutely torn and my mind spiraling every time I tried to process this prediciment, I somehow put it on the backburner. It is still something that sounds so encouraging every time I read about it. I am just scared to death for every little detail involved, physical and emotional. So for now, my Girl will continue with her normal meds and restart the Ketogenic diet to help control her seizures.

What's new?

2009-04-23T08:53:00.000-07:00

Well, since it has been about a year since I posted, I will do a quik catch up on the happenings in our lives.

We have all been pretty good. Kira has remained pretty stable, only in and out of the hospital a couple of times with pneumonias, but overall, no major issues. She has not had any developments unfortunately. She still remains my Sleeping Beauty. Although, you can see by the pics yesterday, that her hair continues to grow so fast! It is so gorgeous, those pics really don't do it justice. I will have to take her hair out of the piggies and take a pic of it laying down. Its almost to her butt, with little spiral curls in it.. sooo beeee-u-ti-ful! Aaron is 2 now and is starting to become a toddler in my eyes, rather than a baby still. He is at that parrot stage where he tries to say whatever you ask him to. Ethan and Logan have recently taught him how to say, "Yo Mama Buttmunch." Its beautiful. *rolls eyes* Logan is in Kindergarten and shining so bright. He is an amazing reader, just like his brothers. I am not sure how all of my boys are awesome readers, and so bright.. WHERE did they get it?! I am so proud of them everyday! Ethan is doing great in 4th grade. They are having another spirit day that he created tomorrow. Hes in Student Leadership and comes up with fun ideas for the school. Adrian is in HIGH SCHOOL, and is about to turn 15 in about 6 weeks. This blows my mind. I was 15 when I became pregnant with him. This is too weird for me to absorb. In my eyes, he and all of the rest of the 14-15 year olds out there are so YOUNG. I don't even let Adrian go walk around the town by himself, or do things other teenagers are allowed to do. Yet, I was preparing to become a housewife and family at his age. "Mom & Dad, I am so sorry for the shock of your life when I told you I was going to be a parent myself at that age, I cannot begin to imagine what that must have been like for you guys!" lol Adrian is such a sweeeeeeeeeeet hearted softy. He is very bright and mature. Very trustworthy. Still very much into his books, and loves his baby brothers very much. Well.. the 2 youngest anyway. Ethan, he butts heads with, haha.

Jim is working, working, working to provide for his family. He's my Big shweethot! We are doing great. I am continuing to be addicted to my body image. I have lost all of my weight, and I am at goal.. which is 135. I am 5'5. However, even being at goal weight, I still feel and see myself in the mirror as chubby. I want to try to lose about 10 more pounds if I can. I am doing my treadmil and alot of strength training. I want to see how toned I can get my body, but I do NOT want to put any muscle bulk on. I stretch often so when I develope more muscle, it will be lean. I have had my weight loss success through the lowcarb diet. It's such a WONDERFUL diet. But, I am only human and I want that mexican, chinese, or junk food too occassionally. So guess what, I eat it. BUT only on the weekends. I cheat on the weekends, and get right back on track and back into ketosis right afterwards. This has worked fine for me. This way, I don't feel like everything is completely off limits. During the week though, I am VERY strict with my carb intake. I am almost pure protein and fat. I limit my veggies, because even veggies, although very good for you, do have carbs in them. Eventually when I get over my obsession with my body issues, I will trasition into the every day, healthy lower-carb lifestyle; whole grains, fruits, veggies, and lean protien. As for now, I will continue to irritate my family with my extreme lowcarbness! ;)

More pics.

2009-04-22T19:02:00.002-07:00

Maybe someone can tell me how to get them all in the same post. I can only get it to accept 5 at a time. That's my whole gang. The other pics are my Momma and Kira Jean.

New Pics! Taken Today

2009-04-22T19:02:00.001-07:00

MIA

2009-04-22T11:52:00.000-07:00

Hello, Hello! I am back in business. I have a new computer, I have new batteries in my digital camera.. I am ready to start blogging! But not yet, I have wee ones needing my attention at the moment, but this is an FYI. There will now be regular posts and pictures here :)

Love to all.

Update

2008-03-18T08:06:00.000-07:00

I know its been a while. Sorry folks for leaving ya hanging.

Aaron got pretty sick with what I thought was a VERY nasty cold, then Kira got it, and of course her body can't handle illnesses and shes in the hospital again right now. She tested positive for RSV. I knew Aaron was "jacked up" for lack of better words, but didn't realize it was RSV. He is now much better, but Kira Jean is not doing too hot. Because of the illness, her seizures have been out of control for 7 days now. They have basically been back to back, literally, all of these days. The Ativan, nor Valium are even touching her. It SUCKS! She is on a Vaporflow machine, which is similar to a c-pap machine for oxygen. It is a heavy steady pressure of oxygen mixed with warm humidified mist. She is currently on 70%. We need to wean her down. 2 days ago, she was able to recieve 50%, but she now requires more 02.

Not that this is even remotely important in the sceme of my days right now, but since I am here posting, I should let my readers know that I am now down to the 150's! I weigh 159 now!

K, gotta shower and get back to Kira Girl.

Weigh-in

2008-03-03T08:09:00.000-08:00

Today is my weigh in day, and every woman knows what "that time of the month" does to her. The scale is NOT your friend at said time. I am 2 pounds up from last Monday, but only because of the water retention and bloat. I will continue to flush myself out and stay on track with my food, and after Auntie Flo leaves, my weight should go back to norman.

I have changed my diet. I love going lowcarb, and have recently added in extra fats. I have been reading alot on this higher fat version of lowcarb, and ALOT of people have great success with it. I have always kept it pretty lean; chicken, fish, veggies, salads. But with this higher version, you want to lessen the protein and increase the fats. The ratio is like 80% fat, 15% protein, and 5% carbs for the day. The extra fats can come from heavy cream, dressings, butter, cheese.. etc. I know it sounds crazy, but somehow, it works for alot of people. The more fat they put in their mouth, the less fat they wear on their thighs.. amazing! So I am going to play around with this for a bit, and see how it goes.

Preschool for Kira???

2008-03-03T07:41:00.000-08:00

When this option was presented to me, my initial question is "HOW?" How can you send an apparent comatose child to preschool?! But as it was explained to me, my heart began to melt! I got so excited for HER! Her wheelchair is made with adapting parts at the base to hook into a vehicle such as a van or a bus. Now, I don't even know if I will be emotionally able to have a little school bus pick her up and take her, or if I would just drive her myself, ( and probably stay the whole time ) but it is equipped to have the bus pick her up. Let me explain what going to preschool would mean for Kira....

She would listen to music and the Teacher would clap Kiras hands to the music.
She would make me beautiful art pictures by having the teacher swirl her hands around in finger paints. She would be pushed up to the table in her wheelchair during meal times, to be tube fed. They would do alot of things that Neuro typical preschoolers would do, of course, the teacher would have to move Kiras hands for her. This would provide SOOO much stimuli for her! Nobody knows how much Kira is aware of, and I believe she is aware of alot.. her brain just won't allow her to respond and tell us. Can you imgine how much she would LOOOOVVVEEE to go to school, and PLAY and be around other children like her!! Momma would get a class picture of her classmates, all of her friends in wheelchairs... how ADORABLE would that be?!

So she will be 3 on July 4th and school would start in September. It would be a few days a week, a few hours a day. I am having a meeting with the Districs person in charge in special education on the 12th of this month. I will keep you updated.

Aaron is ONE!

2008-02-27T08:35:00.000-08:00

It's official.. I now have a 1 year old again! Yesterday was his birthday, and it was very low key. His party will be in a week and a half, it will be combined with Ethans party. I have never had a combined birthday party before, and honestly I am not a huge fan of them ( unless they are twins ). I think each child should get their own seperate celebration for thier day. That being said, Ethans birthday is in 6 days and seeing as how Jim has been off of work for a little while, we need to be money wise and do it like this.

Yesterday I baked a chocolate fudge cake with choco frosting and he LOVED it! I don't give him sweet stuff yet, other than grahm crackers, so he was in sugar heaven last night! I need to go buy him some walking shoes. He hates to stand, perhaps if I put some shoes underneath him for more stability, he may start.

*** By the way, do you have any clue what a chocolate cake does to a babys diaper the next day?! Ohh ma gosh!

SO fitting!

2008-02-25T09:31:00.000-08:00

Wow, I just read something that made my heart melt! When I was pregnant with Kira, I decked out her beautiful nursery in butterflies. I have always associated butterflies with Kira... see her image above the Title of this Blog (butterfly). Well, I just read a perfect, very fitting analogy. Kira is like a BUTTERFLY... she is currently trapped inside of her cocoon. She continues to flap her wings inside, trying to emerge, and one day she will finally break through. I LOVE this, I absolutely LOVE this! Now, I have even more of a reason to connect Kira to butterflies!

Monday = Weigh in day

2008-02-25T07:31:00.000-08:00

Another Monday, another day to record my weight. Don't think this scale addict honestly only stands on the scale once a week. Heck no. I sadly obsess over it, and usually stand on it after every potty trip, after meals, and of course before bed and right after waking. BUT I only record Monday's weigh in. So what was it this morning you ask? Still at 162.. it has been telling me I weigh 162 for about 3 days. On Friday, someone asked what I was going to do this weekend, my reply was; "Lose 1 pound." Eh, guess your plans and lifes plans don't always match up. Tis' okay, because I have been staying ON TRACK. I have not cheated with sugar or carbs for almost a month, and for that, I am so very proud of myself!

And, as a side note.. I know I kinda flaked out on Friday with posting my new do'.. but you have my word, they will be posted after my shower this morning.

Black hair AND black coffee?

2008-02-23T08:02:00.000-08:00

Last night, I went to have my roots touched up. I AM a natural blonde, lets just get that out of the way right fast. However, I have been choosing to go a step lighter than my own color. Okay.. so, I like to play with colors in my hair, I have had purple streaks, pink, and red chunks as well. Last night, I had my stylest put black hair in the back. She separated my top hair from my bottom, to create a 2-toned look. This look has been in debate as far as classy VS. trashy. I'd like to think i'm a little bit of both.. so it should suit me well.

So this morning, in honor of my new black hair, I was considering having my coffee black... but, I just can't find myself to be that daring!

**PICTURES...

Okay so, I keep forgetting to take pics, so I just got back home, and remembered.. so bare with the hat look. I am holding my hair out to the side so you can see the dark behind the blonde. The back blonde goes at an upside down V angle.

Awww, morning surprises

2008-02-22T08:54:00.000-08:00

Is there a better way to start your day than with a baby who had a total blow-out in his jammies? There has been some weird tummy thing moving from kid to kid here. They show no signs of an illness, other than occassionally vomiting or having diarrhea. FUN STUFF! Just one question... if his anus is in back of him, how did the diarrhea get on his front thighs, belly, etc. Its everwhere BUT his backyard!

Love

2008-02-21T10:21:00.000-08:00

Love is...

#1...

2008-02-21T09:17:00.000-08:00

Numero Uno is Adrian James. He is our first child and an utterly amazing human being. His middle name is after Jim. I had Adrian when I was 16 years old. He is almost 14, and Its so crazy for me to think that in 2 years from now, I was a Parent. WOW.

Adrian is such a unique boy. Jim and I have always said throughout the years that he is so different than any other kids we know. Never has he had tanrums, back talked, attitude, nada. As a baby, he was the HAPPIEST, most loving, giggling little guy ever. As he went through his toddler years, he remained happy, quiet, caring, considerate. Even as a teenager, where most teens get attitude, perhaps start to rebel, Adrian remains to be such a mature, sweet young man. This is not to say that he is perfect, but if there is such a child, I guarantee you Adrian would win that award! Now, if I could just get him to do his chores without asking!

He is in GATE and doing great in school. He struggles in the math department ( just like his Momma) so he is in a support class for that. He takes after his Grandma ( my Momma ) and his uncle ( my Brother ) in the reading department. He is a bookworm, and I LOVE that about him. Give him a good book, and he is happy!

As you can see, I am no different than other Momma's who think that every single one of thier children are amazing and the best kids on Earth! *wink*

#2..... (not THAT #2)

2008-02-21T09:08:00.001-08:00

Ethan Robert, Robert is Jim's Dad.. aka E-Bo... is our second child. He is 8 years old, soon to be 9 on March 4th. He and Aaron's bdays are a week apart.. that's gonna get expensive! Ethan is a bright, caring, sensitive, boyish boy! He is extremely talented in the art department. He has always had a gift of drawing, and lately has put his skills on the computer. He has taught himself how to create games, and short movies by creating, and copying and pasting over and over onto different screens. It truley is amazing to watch. When he is sitting down showing me his newest creation, I sit there bursting with pride and in such awe.. I am almost at a loss for words. He is only 8! It's crazy!

He's in 3rd grade and a wonderful student. He is in GATE and in the "Student leadership" which is like a PTA for the students. He and a few other children meet with the Principal once a month to offer suggestions for the school. His idea of a "Backwards Day" happened 2 weeks ago. Kids can come to school wearing their clothes, hats, shoes, backwards, speak backwards, etc... pretty cool! He's a pretty cool kid!

#3..

2008-02-21T08:57:00.000-08:00

Logan Dennis is our 3rd child. His middle name Dennis is after my amazing Daddy and brother. He is a Christmas Eve baby..he just turned 5. He is soooo quik-witted and such a character... I will be sharing alot of things that come out of his mouth that blow me away! For instance, the other day, I was online and he asked me to make him a pb&j... this is how our conversation went;

Logan; "Mom, will you make me a pb&j?"
Me; "Yes, hold on."
Logan; " I don't want to hear hold on, I want to hear your feet in the kitchen making me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."
Me; *Chin on the floor* and laughs out of both of us!

He has a key obsession. Quite literally, an obsession.. I think he needs an intervention soon. If he is anywhere in the house, and you even slighty move a key, he will hear it and come running. He can tell you what key belongs to what door or to what vehicle. If he doesn't grow up to be a locksmith, I'll be shocked! He loves most Nick tv shows.. prefferably Dora and Diego. He starts school this year.. waaaa.. I don't know if *I* am ready. He is still a baby to me.

The baby...

2008-02-21T08:27:00.000-08:00

Our 5th child is Aaron Martin. His name is special, he is named after Jim's Step-Brother who passed away while I was pregnant with him. He was in a motorcycle accident. That's where Aaron comes from, Martin is after his awesome Grampa! Tell me what you think, because I find this hard to believe that this is mere coincidence... Aaron died on Sept. 11th. (9-11), and his namesake weighed 9-11 at birth. I think this is so beautiful, I truley believe that that was Aarons way of letting us know, he knows.

Aaron was a colicky baby. He has had a dairy intolerance from day one, and i'm sure that contributed to his colic. Even after we switched his milk, and I removed all diary from my breastmilk, he remained colicky, though a little better. He is going to be a year old next Tuesday, and I know everyone says time flies, but MAN, it does! I cannot believe it has been a year already. He is the sweetest baby ever. Hes such a happy guy. He ALWAYS has a smile for you, regardless if he's tired, sick or hungry.. he will shine that bad boy upon request! His head is a cue ball... no clue when those hair follicules will become active. He says "GET!" "Buh bye" and "Dadda" He is not close to walking yet. He just barely started cruising furniture. Normally, once he pulls up on something, he will sit back down and crawl away. Who knows, he may just decide to get up one day and take off! That's my precious boy in a nuttshell.

Perfect Beauty Tips...

2008-02-19T11:52:00.000-08:00

Time-Tested Beauty Tips ...

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone ...

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,
reclaimed and redeemed and redeemed and redeemed. Never throw out anybody. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

Kira Jean Beauty Queen

2008-02-19T07:42:00.000-08:00

As promised, here I sit, with my tall cup of joe with sugarfree hazelnut creamer. Okay.. so my babies... I have the most precious, loving, beautiful babies ever! Yes, I am even calling my teenager my baby! One of these babies in particular is very unique, ( aren't they all though!) and I know alot of people are interested in her journey. I will give you some background on my Kira Jean Beauty Queen... * I am editing this to clearify that she is undiagnosed. She has many symptoms and diagnosis'.. that all come along with an abnormal neurological state. She is a medical mystery.*

I had a completely normal, uneventful pregnancy and delivery. She was quite active in utero, always kicked and did somersaults. All of the run of the mill pregnancy testing was normal, so I had nothing to think, other than I was having a healthy little GIRL.. WOW.. a girl! I have always wanted a girl. I absolutely LOVE being a Momma to boys. I love all that comes along with the ones with pork n beans. I had 3 awesome boys, and I wanted so badly to experience pink and butterflies and flowers.. ahhhhhhh!

I was in early labor for days, when I went to L&D to be accessed. They saw that with each contraction, her heartrate would decel a little. They thought it best to augment my labor with Pitocin that day. This was July 3rd. On a CRAZY side note, I had no idea until a year later that an aquaintance of mine ( now very close friend) was in the room right next door to me, laboring all night with me, and our kids are hours apart. Okay, so.. Kira Jean makes her debut on July 4th at 3:40 a.m. She weighed in at 8lbs 1 oz. and was 19 inches.

Right away, we noticed she wasn't opening her eyes. She did cry a little and move a little at birth, we couldn't tell immediately that she was any different, she just seemed exhausted from the ride. The time that I was in ignorant bliss would only last a few hours. During that time, we had family and friends come over to meet our daughter, it was great! When she was a few hours old, she developed a fever. The doctor had me remove her clothing, and told me that some newborns can develope fevers if they are dehydrated, so he wanted to offer her a bottle. As I was giving her a bottle, she choked up on the milk, and went purple. The nurse came in, and tried the bottle.. same thing. Okay, put the bottle away! So maybe an hour goes by and I have her in my arms, just cuddling, not feeding or moving, and I look over, and there she goes again.. desating! I freak, because this time, there is NO reason for that to have happened. A NICU nurse comes down to get her, to take her for an examination. At this point, her eyes still aren't open, and everyone is assuming its because they are swollen from delivery. They are also thinking the fever is caused by an infection somewhere, so they do a bunch of lab work to determine the cause. In my head, while yes, I am very afraid, I am thinking I only have a couple of obstacles here.... she has to become coordinated with a bottle, and treat the infection.. not too much to deal with, eh!

A day passes.. she has become still and quiet. Her eyes have not opened, she is not reacting to the outside world, and people are taking notice. On day 2, I notice her body almost shivering, but not. It was very mild, but I could see it. I told the Dr. who had already had a thought out conversation with me in his own head, and he asked me to sit and talk with him. Now, before I tell you what this conversation entailed, let me tell you, that I thank our Heavenly Father that I had my Mom by my side at that moment. She has been by my side from day one, and I really feel that I would not be who and how I am mentally without her. She has been my rock through out this journey, I love her so much, I honestly could not have done this without her, I mean it.

So, he sits me down and tells me that he suspects there is something neurological going on with Kira. He says he would like to do an EEG on her brain. I had no idea at that time what an eeg was, but I was understanding that he thought there was something wrong with my daughters brain.. WHAT?! I was shaking uncontrollably as he was telling me this, and her PT later told me she secretly thought Kira was having a seizure in my arms, until she realized it was me. They do the eeg, and I only had to wait a few hours before getting the results.. the horrible, gut wrenching, disgusting results. Here again is where Jesus put another Angel in my presence.. my Sister-in-Law Kim. I had just walked into the Nicu, and was at the sink washing my hands when he, the Neonatologist walked up to deliver the results of her eeg. If I remember word for word, the conversation went like this.. "Are they in?" "Yes." "What are they" "It's very abnormal." "What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean?" This is where people talk about shock as being in a dream state. The room was literally spinning, everything went foggy, I went numb, and felt sick. My Sister Kim walked in RIGHT then. Thank you Lord. I sat down, and I remember him having his hands on my knees asking if I can hear him. Jim then came in, sat next to me, and I told him what the results were. All I needed to know is would she make it?! He could not tell me the answer to that. We went into my room and talked about what this meant, what testing they will do, etc. Kira did not suffer lack of oxygen at birth, there was no birth trauma.. so was it the one time I got into the hot tub for 5 minutes? Was it when I fell? Was it because I changed the cat litter? Was it the ocassional coffee I drank.. WHAT caused this?! Here we are 2.5 years later and that question has yet to be answered. I am sure it never will, and I am okay with that now. Her eeg readings are extremely chaotic. They almost show a burst suppression pattern. The brainwaves will be all over the place, no organization to them whatsoever, then all of a sudden, show a flat line.. no activity. An analogy that a Neurologist once made to me about her eeg was, " Trying to read ANYTHING in her eeg, is like trying to hear a cat meow in the middle of rush hour traffic." Normally, in a persons eeg, you can tell when they are asleep or awake, if they react to outside stimuli, etc.. but not my girls.

Kira ended up being in the NICU for exactly one month. The whole time, she had to be kept naked, she kept her mysterious high body temp. If you were to even drape a recieving blanket on her, her temp would shoot up. She was placed on Phenobarbital for her seizures. An NG tube was placed for her feedings, although, back then, she would suck on a bottle some. She never did root, or open her mouth on her own, but if you placed your finger in her mouth and pulled down her tongue, then worked the nipple in, she would start sucking. She came home on oral feedings, but a month later, when I had to take her to the ER for what I thought were out of control siezures, she was found to be failure to thrive. I knew she wasn't eating alot, she would tire out quikly, after a couple of ounces, but she *was* getting some. I did not know she was ftt. During her hospital stay, they placed another NG tube, and we got a feeding pump to take home. She gained 1 pound in a week in the hospital. Poor girl must have been so hungry :( The Intensivist changed her anticonvulsant during that hospitalization, and since almost that moment it seems, she lost what suck she had. This is at 2 months old. During her 1st year of life I would try the bottle, but quikly became very discouraged and depressed until I was no longer even attempting it. I very much regret giving up on her. I am certain she could have learned stronger oral behavior if I would have continued. When she was a few months old, she was diagnosed with autonomic dysfunction. Your autonomic system controls your breathing, body temperature, heartrate, blood pressure... consider it your "automatic system". This is what had put her in the hospital at 2 months old with fever, her arching, sweating buckets, breathing very fast and heart rate in the 220's. Her behavior was textbook autonomic storming, so I am baffled why she wasn't diagnosed sooner, as she has had storms in front of a Neurologist, and I described her symptoms to another Neurologist. Yet, it was her wonderful Intensivist in the PICU who hit the nail on the head and placed her on Propranolol. Kira is on blood Pressure medication, currently Amplodipine and Captopril. She is no longer on Propranolol, because it butts heads with Albueterol, which she needed often for her pneumonias. She is now on Baclofen for her storming. It has regulated her beautifully.

Forgive my bouncing around, but I will forget things, then suddenly remember, and so I may seem to go from present to past, and back to present. At 3 months old, she was put under to have a G-tube placed on her tummy, a nevus removed from her arm, a fundoplication done to stop her GERD from coming up, and muscle, skin, and nerve biopsies taken for testing. Kira has Microcephaly, which means her brain does not grow as it should, and her head circumference is smaller than it should be. At 2.5 years old, her brain is the size of a 2-3 month old. But everyone says you cannot tell. I think it was more noticeable when she was bald. If you saw Kira, you would think she was asleep. She appears to be asleep 24 hours a day. She has never woken up. She does not open her eyes, she does not have any purposeful movements, she does not eat by mouth or speak or cry. But she is the MOST precious, Heavenly Angelic being ever! She has seizures all day long, regardless of what medication or diet we have tried on her. She will lift an arm, turn her head, or roll her eyes open during a seizure. This is the most active I have ever seen her. It just doesn't make sense to me. WHAT is it that gets sparked in her brain during a seizure that allows her eyelids to open and her limbs to move, and why can't she do it without a seizure?! We have been Blessed to recieve her beautiful pink and black wheelchair with her name embroidered on it through Alta Regional. They have also provided us with a Britax carseat, a bath seat and a tumbleform chair. They have been such a Blessing. Her nurse Bruce has been trying to get me to accept respite care for her. Thats where an LVN would come into my home for a few hours a day or week to help me with Kira. I have declined this whole time, because I figure she is mine, I am her Momma, why would I need someone to come into my home and take care of her? I do however see how it could be beneficial for me. They could do range of motion, massage, singing, rocking, etc. while I take care of the baby or spend quality time with Logan. Kira is currently on Baclofen, Captopril, Amplodipine, Bicitrate, Robinul, Klonopin. She has RTA ( acidosis) , and the Bicitrate evens out the acid in her blood. She also has a neurogenic bladder, which means she does not go peepee as soon as she feels the urge. Her bladder will hold it until its a huge balloon, then the flood gates will open. She urinates about 3 times a day. Her bowels don't work as they should either, so I have to give her daily Miralax to keep her stool soft, so she doesn't get compacted. Kira went from Nov. 06 to Jun 07 being in the hospital literally once a month with seperate pneumonias. It was then decided that she was aspirating her own saliva and she was placed on Robinul to thicken and dry out her saliva. She was also ordered a TheraVest. This vest is amazing! It fits like a life jacket, inflates like a blood pressure cuff, and shakes her lungs nice and clear. I'm sure she thinks I took her to Disneyland and put her on a rollercoaster every treatment! Since she recieved alot of steriods during those ill months, she had a beautiful side effect.. hair growth! Her auburn hair has grown so much. It's absolutely gorgeous. Its curly, soft, long hair. I'm SO jealous!

Well I need to refill my coffee cup.. so I will take a break for now.

First Entry

2008-02-19T00:42:00.000-08:00

I have finally decided to create a blog. After Kira was born, I have had some requests to start blogging, so friends and family can stay updated with her. She is 2.5 now, so I'm a little late... but "Better late than never", right? We have a pretty busy household. The 4 cool dudes are; Adrian (13), Ethan (8), Logan (5), Aaron (1). The only dudette is; Kira (2). My husband Jim is a Union Electrician, and I stay at home with the babies. Considering it is almost 1 am, I will write a detailed post, all about my kids in the morning.. with a tall cup of coffee by my side!